THE THINGS THEY SAY

Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Donald Trump

What I’ve observed from working with violent offenders is that the will to power is exaggerated in proportion to how impotent the person feels. […] We’ve never had a president so obsessed with his own inadequacy. James Gilligan, psychiatrist

Men don’t like to be led by women. They don’t mind being spanked by them, but they don’t want to be led by them. Joanna Lumley

Voting Tory will cause your wife to have bigger breasts and increase your chances of owning a BMW M3. Boris Johnson

If men could get pregnant, abortion clinics would be like Starbucks. There would be two on every block and four in every airport, and the morning after pill would come in different flavors like sea salt and cool ranch. Nasim Pedrad

What should be targeted is a concept of organic, and not just mechanic, democracy that preserves the rule of law, separation of powers, and that is participatory and pluralistic. Recep Tayyip Erdogan

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. Socrates

The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt. Bertrand Russell

I will build a great wall – and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me – and I’ll build them very inexpensively. I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will make Mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words. Donald Trump

God gave men a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time. Robin Williams

Pray, verb: to ask that the laws of the universe be temporarily annulled for a single petitioner, confessedly unworthy. Ambrose Bierce

I’d like thousands of schools as good as the one I went to: Eton. Boris Johnson

Tragedy is a clash between right and right. Amos Oz

Paramount is the need to secure human rights. The form of rule should be such that the citizen does not have to fear the State, but gives it direction and confidently participates in its administration. Recep Tayyip Erdogan

A leader who does not hesitate before he sends his nation into battle is not fit to be a leader. Golda Meir

It’s not how people vote that counts; it’s who counts the votes. Stalin

A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she’s a tramp. Joan Rivers

Where there’s a will, there’s a relative. Ricky Gervais

War does not determine who is right – only who is left. Bertrand Russell

I still enjoy sex at 74. I live at 75, so it’s not far to go. Bob Monkhouse

My boyfriend had a sex manual but he was dyslexic. I was lying there and he was looking for my vinegar. Victoria Wood

A man who, after the age of thirty, finds himself on a bus can count himself a failure in life. Margaret Thatcher

You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. Dean Martin

My speaking style was criticised by no less an authority than Arnold Schwarzenegger. It was a low moment, my friends, to have my rhetorical skills denounced by a monosyllabic Austrian cyborg. Boris Johnson

An intellectual is a man who takes more words than necessary to tell more than he knows. Dwight D. Eisenhower

You know, it really doesn’t matter what the media write as long as you’ve got a young and beautiful piece of ass. Donald Trump

Man is the only animal that blushes – or needs to. Mark Twain

The measure of an education is that you acquire some idea of the extent of your ignorance. Christopher Hitchens


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