Take a nice middle-class couple who don’t understand why their lovely little kids have turned into the most obnoxious adolescents on the planet, add a thug of a demolition contractor and his busty nymphomaniac daughter, plus the most boring man in the world and his fat messed-up wife.

It doesn’t end there. Mix in a sink comprehensive school with some decidedly weird teachers, an elderly lady who thinks Disraeli is still prime minister, an attractive Italian woman whose dodgy English causes more damage than a bazooka, an unfortunate schoolgirl out to take revenge on her tormentors, an embittered police sergeant and – just to round things off – the very worst elements of Britain’s tabloid press. We must not forget the goat. Or the small dog that tries to mate with anything it sees, animate or otherwise. Put that lot together and what do you get? Complete and utter mayhem, that’s what you get.

Rest assured that reading this book will not improve your mind in the slightest. Neither will it provide you with a morally uplifting message to restore your faith in human nature. There is a very good chance, however, that it will make you laugh.